Hungry Like the Wolf

The Spartan likes to call this shot of me "Hungry Like the Wolf". I gotta admit, had I known I was going for a pseudo Duran Duran music video boat ride, I would have cranked up the glamour and maybe cracked a smile, but this was vacation. It was a chore just to put on mascara some days. A mere 3 full days also do NOT make a full vacation! Just when I began to unwind, it was time to pack up again. Le sigh.

Taken in Sarasota, FL, this boat ride was the wonderful surprise of the Spartan's old college roommate. With a time share and the ability to work from home, he graciously took us out on the bay and let us spend our last few hours on that side of the state on the water. I was enjoying myself -- contrary to the expression in the photo.

What this photo tells me is that I think too much. Maybe the sun was in my eyes, maybe I was sad the ride was ending, or maybe I was thinking "I've probably gained a million pounds. I won't be able to run for 5 whole days. Surely I will gain back all the weight I've ever lost and forget how to finish a mile without crying."

Thankfully, I came back to CA only 1.6 pounds heavier. I blame that on long periods of travel, salty plane food (can I get an amen if I NEVER see another pretzel or peanut again!) and vacation splurges. I made sure to eat breakfast at home the day of travel (high fiber muffin, egg whites, veggie sausage), packed water, trail mix, protein bars etc, but gave in a little on the plane. A little...A drink here, a drink there (Denver airport), microwave mac & cheese at 11pm EST at the hotel -- you see where this is going. Downhill.

For the most part of the trip, breakfast was home made and healthy, lunch was late and the biggest meal, leaving dinner open. I couldn't leave Florida without having key lime pie though. I almost licked the container. (I did actually.)

I took today off from work to finish errands and sort some medical schedules out. As I wrote before, I was diagnosed with a fibroid this past August. I went for my 6 month check up early January and did not get good news. As it turns out, my fibroid cluster has grown rapidly and is affecting surrounding organs (including my bladder - I feel borderline incontinent at 34!). The cluster can actually be felt through my stomach as it's on the outer uterine wall and well, any dreams of a flat stomach are out the window right now, no matter how much weight I try to lose. Laying on my stomach is becoming a problem and I don't see things getting any better symptom wise. The doctor recommended surgery for me.

This doesn't bode well with me since I hate the idea of going under the knife, but I need to feel better soon. Due to schedules and the risk of losing my job (and insurance), this surgery needs to happen sooner that later. It also means there is a very high chance I won't be able to do my half marathon at the end of March. I'm not dealing with any of this with a smile, but I've got my big girl pants on (and hey, they're loose!) and will take it day by day.

I managed to get a consult appointment with my surgeon this coming Tuesday, instead of mid February. This is a good thing. Deep down, I think I am leaning towards a hysterectomy. Simple removal of the fibroids isn't possible because of their number, size and location. The chance they can come back as well also play a factor. Facing the reality of losing an organ, the capability to bear children (even though I never thought I would have them anyway) and the loss of a main chunk of what, well, makes one a woman, has been interesting.

Until I know what lies ahead, what my surgery options are and when, I will continue to train as if I am going to run . I will keep going to boxing class, doing my weights and trying to maintain a level of health and strength for as long as I can. Recovery time for surgery is about 6 weeks, and that time frame does NOT even allow lifting a grocery bag, let alone working out. (cue panic attack now)

Now that I'm back to the grind again, I'm upping my water intake and looking into cutting out "white" carbs, eating more legumes and incorporating lean proteins like fish and chicken into my weekly meals. I find that for me, fake proteins or meats lead to indigestion sometimes and my body just functions better (and loses weight faster) with grilled chicken in my salad or salmon with my quinoa than a veggie burger or giant slab of tofu. I'm weary of soy these days since I tend to get more bloated (on top of a giant watermelon in my belly already!) after eating a substantial amount, so I'll limit my tofu munching too.

Another area I'm looking into is estrogen metabolism. Part of me has always felt I was hormonally imbalanced due to being on birth control pills for about 10 years. Some brands had worse side effects than others and I've always resented having to be on them. Don't get me wrong, they've cleared my skin, prevented pregnancy and eased my monthly friend, but they aren't natural.

Since being diagnosed with the fibroid though, I've been curious about their causes and how estrogen levels (which also affects weight loss) plays into that. More on that later...