Movement

Things are moving. Things are happening. After 4 months of struggle in this weight "loss and live" journey -- I'm not losing all the time-- a kind word from my accounting manager helped me to stay motivated. "Whatever you're doing-- its working--our little office gym bunny", he said to me this morning. I said thanks and he told me, "No, it really shows!" Granted he's gay and has only been with us for a month, he's dubbed me the "girl who always goes to the gym". Ha! Who would have thought...I usually go in spurts, but this "spurt" has been strong since July. I have been feeling like this struggle has been another thankless job of mine, where I push and strive and bleed, sweat, cry etc, with no feeling of accomplishment or noticeable changes in my eyes.

I have forsaken lunches with friends for time on the treadmill. I have given up on happy hours for an hour of weights class. I have solitary Saturdays so I can run around lakes, do yoga or get errands done. I feel like a hermit, but at least I'm becoming a healthy one? I really have to struggle to find the ME that I like these days. And that means, well, spending more time with myself.

Things also just got very real. I am going to sign up for the Oakland half marathon that takes place in March 2012. Hello, 13.1 miles, we meet again. I did the SF half marathon in 2006, I figured it was high time I signed on for something else to make sure I didn't gain an extra layer during the upcoming winter season. Getting up these days to gym it before work in the dark has led to...no morning gym routines yet. I have no goals but to finish the half marathon -- maybe a little sooner than my first attempt at a half. It will still be a run/walk, though at a faster pace this time around. Hips don't fail me now! I can see many bags of frozen peas on knee caps in my future.

I can also see (slowly but surely) changes in my body. I have a long way to go, and 25 more pounds to lose -- which may be harder now that I am going to be training for a half marathon. Though I will be burning more calories, the hunger and carb monster will be knocking more at my belly door for nutrients and satisfaction. I've also challenged myself to go meatless 5 days a week. So far, so good. Knowing that I can have meat twice a week keeps the mental and physical cravings away for now, knowing it's still there if I want to have it.

I will be training on my own though. I will be running for myself, not in a group or for a charity and this scares me. Short runs are fine, but when you start thinking about 3 hour training runs in Oakland that must equal up to 10-11 miles, that's where things get sticky. Running that long on a treadmill is NOT an option in my mind. I'll have to get creative or do many loops around the Lake...we'll see. For now, that's a long way off and I have plenty of time to train. I'm doing Body Pump classes 2x a week, running 3-4 miles 2x a week, and trying to sneak in a yoga or pilates class at least once a week. Saturdays or Sundays depending on schedule will be my long, solo run days. Hopefully it will be good for the soul and soles.

Dear god, what have I gotten myself into?