I ran yesterday at the gym for 25 min straight. Whew! That was a feat. All I kept telling myself was "one more minute, just one more minute", and of course repeated it 24 times. Hopefully, that can turn into "one more mile" but, baby steps. My couch to 5k program has helped me thus far, and I don't think running for 30 min straight will be that horrible. I'd just love to get my speed up. Right now I'm at a 12 minute mile, which is a wee bit better than when I trained for a half marathon 5 years ago, but still, I'd LOVE to be able to run an 11 or shit, even 10 minute mile. THAT would make me feel so proud and accomplished.
I treated myself to some falafel and fries at a veggie place in Berkeley last night. I felt immediately guilty but only ate half of my meal and a handful of fries. After they got cold they weren't that appetizing anymore anyway. I've almost gone through ALL my extra WW points this week and I'm scared to weigh in and see another gain this Friday. I told myself this week I'd really work it and try to lose those last 2 lbs to get out of my range, but I have this feeling it won't happen. I've been building muscle for sure, as I even scared myself earlier in the week not knowing WHAT it was that was hard and bulging out of my upper arm. I thought "great, can you get fibroids in your arm!?" No, it was a bicep. Go figure. I still have the arms of a truck driver though. I'll never be swan like.
I am also proud of myself for not pussy'ing out on a body pump class last night. I saw someone I knew at the gym. A girl that thinks pretty highly of herself and well, of course she's in great shape too. Thin, pretty, big tits, your basic nightmare ;-) Maybe I'm just jealous.
I was on the treadmill warming up when I saw her go into the classroom. I almost backed out. You see, I've seen her post some snarky things online re: some out of shape people in her workout classes, or uncoordinated people in her gym dance classes and it really stung. I'm like, that could be me! I felt like the fat kid in gym class who was going to be made fun of in her spandex and big arms who couldn't do a lunge or lift weights to save her life. It felt so junior high. I hated that feeling that came up and sat in my gut. Yes, even under all that chub I could feel that pressure.
But you know what? I said fuck it. I went in there, albeit in the back of the classroom and did my thing. I worked my ass off, and while I was not the best, the strongest, the thinnest or even most coordinated, I finished. I swore under my breath, I lifted to the beat, I had to plank out instead of doing push ups (just not there yet, kids) but I did it. And that was enough.
I've really been trying to not push too hard but push to limits I know I can handle. I'm trying to incorporate cardio, strength training and flexibility -- but not all everyday of course. No one wants to be a fatty fat, and I don't want to be skinny fat either. I can see some definition starting in places, but I'm impatient. I can't wait to go back to bikram with a new found leg strength and balance instead of being that sweaty asshole whose calf can't rest properly or who can't hug their knees to their chest bc their abundance of sweat and lack of motion is preventing them from doing so.
I know I've been slacking on the water intake which needs to change. You'd think my body was on a deserted island the way it retains it. I know I hold a lot of grudges, but my body likes to hold a lot of fat and liquid. And frankly, I'm quite tired of it.
UPDATE: holy.crap. Pilates is no joke. I think I'm going to need an oil can to move my joints the next time I get up from my desk. It's 2pm and I haven't even eaten lunch yet I'm so out of it. I don't know if it's because I've been running, but my hip joints hurt so incredibly bad in class today, I didn't know what to do.
We started with a lot of light weights at mid level height and slow resistance and ab work on the floor. That alone had all of us women sweating and moaning. Extending legs and scissors and weights and then the barre...muscles were moving that either were asleep for months or have been worked over too hard in the past few weeks. That 30 minutes was the most painful I've endured in a while.
Needless to say, this class at Body Fi was the hardest so far. Now I'm really scared about TRX/kettle ball training. I can only imagine being suspended in the air and trying to hold a kettle ball. Dear god, save me. And I've signed up for a Friday and Tuesday class to continue the torture.
Oh, and then I ran 2.5 mi at the gym. Kind of like running out the pain...I'm a fool.
1 Comments:
Just be careful and don't either 1) burnout or 2) injure yourself
don't forget even God rested on the 7th day
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